I don't mind if he's here

Tank tops and old man socks

Unwashed summer copper hair

His stinky lair

I don’t mind if he’s here

I don’t mind if he is only starting to look for work

Instead of working

He works for me

Always wrangling the little one (a full time job anyway)

Anticipating when to get her out of my hair

I don’t mind that he doesn’t have a huge desire to get his  driver’s license

That he’s only just learning

I’m relieved that he’s not manning a vehicle by himself

Out of sight, on the road with lunatics

Away from me

I actually don’t even mind if his room is the black sheep of bedrooms

If he reeks

If he eats all of my gluten free cookies

and he’s not even on a gluten free diet

That he stays up late

Wakes up late

Grumbles in response to my suggestions about his life

That he doesn’t really know what he wants to do with his life

He’s only sixteen.

In a few months we’ll be filling out college applications

It’s a good thing our funds are all spoken for by our bi-weekly household needs

He can’t get too far away yet

He doesn’t want to

There’s time for working and driving and leaving

And showering so that you’re clean enough to attract a potential mate

I still have so much teaching to do-

How to wash laundry, make doctor’s appointments, order food at a restaurant ( that doesn’t serve chicken fingers); really scrub and disinfect a room; really take care of a dog (scratching behind the ears is only scratching the surface); balance a checking account and a meal; budget time; make difficult choices about relationships, finances, health; know when to call the plumber; shop for Christmas and birthday presents; listen to the women in his life and not try to fix them; live an authentic life- live and work and breathe with integrity…

The list goes on and on

I just need him to be solid and steady when he goes out on his own

To come home willingly when the call comes

And take care of me

one day

but for now, I don’t mind at all if he’s here